Revised Essay

All the changes made to this paper were done so I could change the repipition and the clarity of the paper. This was one of my favorite papers to have written. I tried my best to fix the paper to the best of my ability. There are no significant changes made to the paper but most of the changes are small.

 

Briana Lanza Kyle

Ms. Thomas

Composition 102

3 May 2013

Moving South Africa through Words

Over the years, throughout history there have been many fights for equality and many of those required sacrifices. All of them made for equality, but not many people can say they spent 27 years in jail to fight for the rights and persecution of the people in their country. Nelson Mandela did that, and although it was not 27 years continuously it was the punishment that he endured for putting up a fight against the South African government, that he eventually came to win. Before Nelson Mandela became president most of the government was run by a European country who had settled in their land although they were the minority group of the country. South Africa went through a period of history called the apartheid which resembles the United States civil rights history with the use of the Jim Crow Laws before the Civil Rights Movement. They key difference that came from the fight in South Africa was that not only did the laws need the change, the government was in need of reform. After Nelson Mandela got out of jail for a couple years he continued to fight for the justice of the people and soon came to enforce his fight on his inaugural day.  With this new governmental standing Nelson Mandela wanted to convey the point that his country was able to be strong.  On the day of his inaugural speech, Nelson Mandela got his chance to say what he had to say without persecution. Through the careful use of language Nelson Mandela empowered an entire country. With Nelson’s word choice, tone, and repetition he reminded the people of the importance of living life as they had always wished.

                “Each time one of us touches the soil of this land, we feel a sense of personal renewal. The national mood changes as the seasons change. “ Nelson Mandela spoke those words in his inaugural speech in front of thousands of South Africans who stood in the capital to listen him speak. His choice of words in this statement was important because the country had been under so much scrutiny and heartache with the fight for equality. This statement also connects to him personally because he was in jail so many times and each time with a sense of renewal he tried to make a difference. This created a sense of pathos and ethos within his speech. Everyone knew that he could understand what they had gone through because not only did he go through this but he also spent time in jail, his family was also living the same way as the people. Although everyone was not a prisoner in a jail they were prisoners to the racism and injustice that they were facing within their country.  “We, the people of South Africa, feel fulfilled that humanity has taken us back into its bosom, that we, who were outlaws not so long ago, have today been given the rare privilege to be host to the nations of the world on our own soil.“ Nelson Mandela wanted to make sure that the people of South Africa knew that they are a part of the world, not just somewhere people did not pay attention to but were taken into the arms of those in the nations present. With the apartheid occurring and the people fighting back South Africa was on the news and the world was beginning to know the country that Nelson Mandela loved and fought for. This statement helped appeal to South Africa’s logos because they knew they wanted to be a country noticed and helped. With this recognition by the world this could help the South Africans to move forward and develop themselves with the world at their hands and not only at their feet.  With the choice of words of words that was used he made sure that the people felt pride within their country. Nelson Mandela wanted to make sure that people understood that the country could no longer stand under the feet of foreigners at rule, but under the feet of those who born and raised there because those people are the ones that deserve to control the country for they are the ones that truly know what they need.

                One of the most powerful forms of rhetoric is the use of repetition; this adds the emotion that is needed behind the meaning of your statement. Nelson Mandela stated, “Never, never and never again shall it be that this beautiful land . . . “. The repetition in the beginning of this sentence was used to stress the fact that Nelson Mandela was not going to allow the people to go back to their old ways. This helps build logos and pathos within his speech because he appeals to the people’s emotions knowing that they don’t want to go back that direction, and their logic knowing that this is supposed to be steps forward not backward. “Let there be justice for all. Let there be peace for all. Let there be work, bread, water and salt for all. Let each know that for each the body, the mind and the soul have been freed to fulfill themselves.”  This repetition of the first few words of this segment of the speech made me think of the bible. Nelson Mandela had the intention of letting people know that the change that was coming was going to be good like when God created earth. His intention was to create things in a way that they seemed as if they would be okay with the changes made. This appeals to peoples pathos and logos, their emotions were attached because they love their country but also their ethics because its similarity to the bible. Both of these repetitious moments made the country more intrigued and changed the way that the speech was being given and portrayed as a whole. This is important in writing because repetition makes the reader or listeners remember what the person said. This changes the power that the speech has when repetition is used. Like the speeches that many famous people have made, like Martin Luther King his repetition is something that is always remembered and understood by the people around them.

                Tone is one of the most important aspects of a speech. Tone cannot be expressed through the words but ultimately the delivery. When Nelson Mandela gave this speech he had a strong sense of confidence and devotion to his country which was portrayed through his words. Nelson Mandela made sure that his speech was given in a way that the people had no other way then to believe him. He did not yell at the people, he talked to the people as if he could understand what they are going through completely. When someone conveys a speech in a way that people feel like they are on the same level as them the speech is more relatable. The tone of your voice helps build a sense of understanding when the speaker tries to convey their point creating ethos. The credibility is creating the ability to have people to believe and think that you know that you know what you are talking about. This is important because without the correct tone and ethos your speech will not be able to make the point that you may have wanted to make. Nelson Mandela made sure that he had the correct tone and ethos to make the people believe what he had to say, and motivate the country. As Nelson Mandela spoke he made sure that the strength of the country he fought for was there. If someone conveyed a speech with no emotion, no pauses, and with the wrong tone it would not be the same speech. Tone is a crucial element of giving a speech because these are one of the things that draw on to a listener.  If the tone of the speech was not a strong demanding yet still loving and gentle then it would not have the same understanding and meaning as it had when it was spoken.

                When Nelson Mandela spoke these words he made sure he relayed his message correctly. This is very important to trying to make a message known. These rhetorical elements used in writing strengthen the understanding in which people get when they try to put across a subject. Nelson Mandela made sure that the people could understand his message through his performance. His tone, the repetition and his amazing word choice are the reason why the people remember this speech. For the people of South Africa this was their equality at hand, their fight for justice and Nelson Mandela wanted that to be heard by everyone across the nations. Nelson Mandela was both an amazing leader and an amazing writer who knew how to make a crowd intrigued.

Reflective Essay

Briana Lanza Kyle

Composition 102

Thomas – Final Essay

May 1, 2013

         

          College is supposed to be a place in which you grow and turn into the person you will be in the real world. A place where you reflect on what has happened to you in the past and how you can use other people’s lives as an example of how you should and shouldn’t be living as a student. I think it is important to understand the aspects of life and what might be the lessons that are interpreted in the way that you live your life. Many of the times we look past the little tiny steps to make sure that we get the big steps. In this English class I realized that all the little things I had to do before effect what was needed to be done later on.  All the work inside and outside of class helped me realize what I should do as a writer.

          In this class we did much different kind of papers all of them helping me grow differently. The first paper we did was the rhetorical analysis, on this paper I wrote about the speech that Nelson Mandela gave on the day of his inauguration. This helped me figure out what it was like to have to analysis someone’s writing and what emotion they are trying to convey. This paper taught me how to analyze someone’s writing or speech in a way that helps you understand what they are trying to say.

The second essay we did was article analysis; this paper was done on two different articles about the guilt of George Zimmerman. This helped me see both the side of analyzing the writing of another person and making sure I still build my own opinion from their opinion. This helped my writing because it both opened my eyes to outside opinion and making sure that I understand what someone else’s opinion may hold value when coming to an argument. When someone gives their opinion about a subject their opinion may hold some type of evidence but always to remember that their opinion is influence in the paper.

The third paper we did was an argument analysis; the subject of this paper was the influence of occupational therapy in schools. This paper helped me the most with the most aspects of writing. This paper required me to do research and analysis the research for each side of the subject. This is important because this is where you are getting valid facts and writing supported by facts with the integration of opinions. When reading these papers you have the experience to see people’s point of view with their influences of opinion and use of support for the facts. People’s opinions had a huge influence on my opinion but the facts affect it more.

 The final essay we had was our proposal essay. This was the hardest essay because we had to do what the researchers in the argument analysis paper did, using my own opinion to make the correct decision for the people. All of these papers helped become the writer that I am today which makes me confident in later writing that could happen in future classes that I could take.

          In this class we not only wrote papers but there was also very good interaction between the people in the class because of activities done in class. The first thing that I noticed was done in class is every day had an agenda, this helped me feel like the class was on a track but sometimes made me feel overwhelmed about everything that had to be done. Starting the class off with a quote or question helped me sometimes open my mind to other people’s opinions or what we’re discussing in class that day. Many of the people in the class I did not know but I am a friendly person so I am glad that I had the opportunity to meet them or get to know them better.

One of the many things we did in class was group discussions. This was one of my favorite things to do because it helped me see many of the peoples in the classes personalities and personal opinions that could be the same or different from mine. This was very similar to many of the p­­­apers we wrote because we always had to find the common ground and see the other person point at the same time. Another element of class was writing on the blackboard, this gave us the chance to say things or notice things we would not have before. Many of the times it was feedback from the book or readings that were assigned but this helped us see what captured other people’s minds. This is helpful once again tying into the papers that had to be written this semester.

 A significant part of my growth in the class was the peer response for all of the essays in the class. The first two reviews were done using the syllabus for the papers which helped you learn what is required for the paper in your own paper. This helps you see where some people may have strength that you could use as an example then on the other hand help people who have weaknesses where you have strength. Doing activities like this helps you use correct judgment as well, coming to the conclusion that you should pay attention to what and how you tell people the strengths and weaknesses of their paper without being offensive and remembering that you make mistakes also in your paper.

          Though I enjoyed the class the entire semester I had many favorite elements of the class. One of my favorite and most thought provoking activities that was done in this semester was doing the white boards, this really helped me see what people would say without having to put their name to the writing at all times. This helped us express ourselves more easily but also see what everyone else had in common with us. One of  my favorite actitives had to do with us using the iPad’s in groups. It helped us learn different programs and work as a team to get a good grade and learn from each other. the only thing I didn’t like about the class was having to go to the preface events, I was starting to forget the book it was supposed to be relevant to so it made it hard to write papers on them.

          In this English class I have grown, grown not only as a writer but as a person. This helped me not only see other people’s opinions but to take their opinion and my opinion and possibly create a whole new opinion and I think that’s an important part of life. People’s opinions are important to what is going on in your life. You may not always agree with what is around you but you might be able to change the opinions of some if you have the right back ground and information to support it.

Occupational Therapy in Schools

Self Assessment: Essay 4

SEGL W 102, Sections 003 & 013                                                 Instructor T. Thomas

Spring 2013

Self Assessment

Essay 4: Proposal

Post your narrative responses to the following questions to your BLOG.  Please write your responses in complete sentence/paragraph format.

1.       What were your biggest challenges in researching and writing your Proposal?

a.      My biggest challenge when researching and writing my proposal was making sure I had enough supporting information. This was difficult for me because am personally not a great researcher, I seem to find everything interesting and not know what is valuable and what isn’t.

2.      What do you feel is the best element of your final proposal?

a.      I feel that the best element of my proposal was the fact that I could relate to the statements I was making so there was an element of my own voice in the paper. It was not strictly fact but also was personal encounters and feeling in the writing making it easier to read and flow better.

3.      What do you feel is the weakest element of your final proposal?

a.      The weakest element I think would be the information, I don’t think I gave enough or could seem to find enough information in which I found valuable. This is a difficult element in all my writing, the paper has too much of my voice in it at times.

4.      What could you have done differently to improve your overall performance with both the Literature Review and the Proposal?

a.      I think I could have put more time into the paper, I did work very hard and put time but I don’t think I allotted the correct time because I underestimated the amount of work it could take to do the paper.

Rough Draft

Briana Lanza Kyle

Thomas

Composition 102

April 10, 2013

                As you get older, progress through school and make your way through life there are certain skills that you are supposed to have in order to survive. Many of these skills are taught to us by the people around us, they have a huge influence on what you know as a skill in life. Some people know how to farm because they obtained these skills from their parents who were farmers; some know how to knit because someone they knew taught them at a young age. These are skills you obtain outside of school, but what if the skills you obtain in school is not what is needed for you to survive, what if you needed more as an individual. I have always been an advocate for people to work hard to get somewhere but people also need help along the way. My brother was one of those kids who weren’t getting what he needed as an individual in school, he needed more. My brother, Peyton was born with fluid in his years causing him to have a learning disability which affects the way that the brain processes information, making it harder for him to learn what is necessary for him to get to the next grade. This was found after a couple trips to the doctor with a constant runny nose and tests they figured out that my brother’s ears were filled with fluid; with this discovery Peyton had surgery to release the fluid in his ears. Right before my brother started kindergarten, his pre k teacher noticed that he could have a learning disability because of the fluid in his ears, and how much he struggled in the class. Now although my brother had a great teacher who would have helped my brother as much as she could, she can’t do it alone. He needed outside of classroom help which he wasn’t getting from the beginning of his years in school, but maybe if he was getting help from the beginning then he would have had the chance to be caught up and not be behind his peers. My brother, Peyton is not 14 and in the 8^th grade, he is very smart and is caught up in classes like math, and science, but in English and social studies he still struggles but with the help of the amazing teachers he has had and the people outside of the classroom who help he is doing a lot better than he once was. Just imagine where he would have been without this help.

                The surrounding people that helped my brother are people who are willing to put the effort into helping others and making sure that people live full lives. One of these many people that surrounded my brother with love was his occupational therapist in school. Occupational therapy is an essential element to the learning of children with disabilities. The resources provided for them will help them learn to the best of their ability and further themselves if this was incorporated into schools. This will need to be a group effort needed for the benefit of the adolescent children today.

                Occupational therapy is a growing field in which people are trained to help people gain the skills to live a normal life and have life’s necessary skills. In the year 2010, about 137,000 occupational therapist were in the workforce and 21.7% of occupational therapist worked in schools, this is a growing statistic and that is a great movement towards helping people but the special education classes in the countries are also growing. It is important to show these potential occupational therapists to see the benefits of having a job in the school field. Many occupational therapist work with people who need to learn how to do every day skills like hold a tooth brush, or write with a pencil correctly.  These are everyday life skills that allow people to come to the fullest live of their life. in schools occupational therapist teach students how to do things that they will need in order to be successful in school which will in turn prepare the children for life after school. Most children that need occupational therapist have trouble with things like holding a pencil, holding silver ware so that they can eat alone, tying their shoes and interactions with other people. In occupational therapy you are taught these kinds of skills without the pressures of the world to tell you to do it a particular way. In occupational therapy they find whichever way is best for your learning and how you would benefit from your sessions. The point is not to take you out the classroom to get away from learning but to help you gain skills needed in a different way.

                The amount of children being diagnosed with learning disorders is more and more prevalent which causes classes in turn to become larger. So with the increase of the classes there should be an increase in people to help these children. Being that I am in college I do see a lot of people wanting to become teachers but I have only met a few who wanted to be an occupational therapist, most not know the increased need for this production and how this could help. For instance, if my brother would have never gotten the occupational therapy he did, he would have learned many of those skills needed but it would have taken him a very long time to learn how to do it because he did not have to proper tools in which to learn. My family tried our hardest to teach my brother the things that needed to be taught but did not have the training on what muscles needed to be stretched and moved in order to help him with the way he held his pencil. I fear that if my brother would not have gotten this help early that he would not be as successful as he is. Education is the back bone of this country; it is taken very seriously both in society and in our home because it is really the only way that you could reach the levels of success that you would like to reach. With that being said it is our countries job to make sure that every child has that chance to be that successful, given the resources and the information of the need their will be people who end up seeing the need and want of the children in the world. The most important thing is that these children get what they need together, not as two individual groups but as a classroom and not only an individual. Children like to know that their peers are similar them and have the same problems that they have so when these actions are being made they need to be made as a group effort and not an individual. All the teachers, parents and students with the help of the school have to have a clear understanding of what is going on a why it is needed for them to participate in the activities during the sessions. The teachers and the parents have to have a good communication especially at a young age because learning disabilities are things that can be picked up on over time because of the actions in which the child takes and how they act in classes. Early diagnostic tests are very important for the child because early detection is very important and should be taken very seriously so that the problem can be solved earlier in their life, the earlier the learning the better it could be for the parent to know what is going on with their child and what kind of help their child will need. This is why the parents and teachers should have a good relationship so that when there is detection of this it is not a struggle to find the middle ground between the parent and the teachers. Both  of the people possibly having different views on how their child should go through occupational therapy and when it is best for them to start. This is why it is also important for the occupational therapist to have a good relationship with the parental figure in this situation the child does need occupational therapy. The occupational therapy sessions are going to have to be things the child works on possibly outside of classes so with good communication that might be able to happen and help the child more with the enhancement of their learning.

                With anything there are many different sides as to how people see a particular problem many people not seeing this as something that is a huge need but do not see the benefits of having an occupational therapist.

Outline and Thesis

Thesis:

Occupational therapy is an essential element to the learning of children with disabilities. The resources provided for them will help them learn to the best of their ability and further themselves if this was incorporated into schools. This will need to be a group effort needed for the benefit of the adolescent children today.

Introduction:

• Peyton’s story
• What is occupational therapy?
• Opposition and troubles  
• Thesis

Body 1:

• Who does this help?
•  How will it help them?
• What does it do? OPT?
• How old are these children?
• When does this need to start?

Body 2:

• Who supports it?
• Why should it be supported?
• How much would it cost?
• Where is the support needed for the progression?

Conclusion:

• Why this is important?
• What would this help?
• Children of the future

Prospectus

The problem that I am going to disucss is the use of occupational therapy in schools and how it is beneficial to the students that are able to get these resources. This is important for their learning and goals for later on in life because this will make their lives easier.  Every child deserves the chance to make it in life and to the next level of school and with this extra help from occupational therapist that is how you can work with them.

                The audience that I would like to approach would be more professional because I would be directing my paper to people in higher positions in schools so that they could make the change, but the parents and teachers could be the bigger push. So I am talk to all of them the direct people who care but also those from a distance who cannot see the effects of learning that way.

                I would like to create rhetorical appeal by using language that would be natural and conversational but yet still give people the facts that are needed to support the cause. I would use stories and personal attachment to the problem while also adding to the appeal for the people.