Final Reflection !

Briana Lanza Kyle

Ms. Thomas

Composition 101

7 December 2012

                I am really glad I have taken this class. This class has helped me learn how to actually write a paper and the process that you have to go through. The most beneficial part of this class had to be the fact that it was so interactive and helpful. Throughout the entire class we used hands on tactics to discuss topics and provoke thought. Activities like when we have to walk up to the board and write down our perception of Sway when we read the first chapter. Also the way that the book was intertwined into our work made it very interesting. We never went without really understanding what we were reading even though at times we struggled with it, we always discussed what could be the topic.

                Although I am happy about the outcome of the class I still feel I have a lot to learn. I know that I came into this class not being a strong essay writer and although I feel like I have improved I know that I could change the way that I write and most likely better this writing. I think my sentence fluency and the way that I reflect in my writing should be more defined. I can write personal papers when having to give my opinion but more professional writing in which is straight forward and without bias I could need help on. I also would like to improve the words that I used by developing more vocabulary, this could improve my writing and the way I express myself. if I read more in depth that might change the way my language is used, I know that reading is essential to learning and writing so if I did more annotating while reading I would definitely understand the way that the writing is set up.

                Technology had a huge affect on my learning, but I think it was a positive effect. I know that I live in the era where technology is really important to my learning and the way society is. This class was very technology useful. I got to use programs that used technology that I had never used before. When I did my digital story it was the first time that I had ever did that and I actually in enjoyed that. I didn’t know that technology could play such an essential part to my learning and I am glad that I attended this class and was a part of a step up class.

                Although I didn’t know what would come of this class I am very glad that I ended up in this class. I am not too fond of English classes since about 6^th grade but this class made me think that English is not that bad. I am very thankful for what I have learned and experienced in this class.

Thank you for a great class Ms. Thomas !

Final Essay - Rough Draft !

Briana Lanza Kyle

Composition 101

Tasha Thomas

2 December 2012

The Cure within a Woman’s Body

            When people first hear words that could change their lives forever it could make them think that their life was coming to an end. “Ana you have cancer.” “Thomas you will never be able to walk again.” “Martin you have Parkinson’s disease.” But what if I told you that hearing those words wouldn’t bring the thoughts of I will die soon but instead, oh great that have a cure for that. Well with stem cells they could do that. A Stem cell is a cell that has the ability to turn into a specific cell or keep replenishing a disturbed area of the body as long as the person is alive. There are two different kinds of stem cells the somatic or adult stem cells found within your bone marrow and the embryonic stem cells which are rooted from a woman’s eggs. (Stem Cell Basics)  Now although both of these cells sound like they could do the same thing one is much stronger than the other. The embryonic stem cells could become more things and have more power within them. Since they are fresh new cells instead of cells that are sitting inside of an aging bone they have more potential to be more things. The only problem is some people feel it is unethical for people to use a fertilized egg, but on the other hand this could be helpful to so many people curing cancer, diabetes, even paralysis. Others believe it should be used to its highest extent and others with limitations. This is an area where the research is not always supported but always starts up a good conversation within the people of science, religion and society.  But with the good conversation it comes up that the areas of this research should be studied carefully and used correctly in order to have beneficial results.

            The obvious reason for the support of this research would be because of the help it could provide people in the world. This is ultimately the reason why scientists are so in favor of this research. Scientist has done a lot of the testing to support the movement already but with the extra support of the people and the government to use the embryonic cells of an in vitro fertilization bank or sometimes the cells of an aborted fetus. In one case scientist where trying to see if they could cure blindness and even through all of the research and the success they had with some of the rats that “more research would be needed to test the long-term effects and safety of the treatment.” (Lesson) This could be the changing point of the world, which people all over the world looking to have more support of this subject. The scientists that do this research see the potential within the study. They know that with this research they could find the cure to things that people have been looking into since the disease came about. Some of the many diseases that they could cure have medicines that could subdue the effects of the disease but in most cases the people are still in agony. This could be less painful and could help the people more effectively. In one case a doctor was trying to find the cure for “bubble children” and said this was determining that stem cells could help the person drastically, (Patience)

“Doctors treating adenosine deaminase-deficient severe combined immunodeficiency have had too few options for too long, and we hope this will provide them with an efficient and effective treatment for this devastating disease.” -  Donald Kohn

this kind of research could change the medical field forever and make the drastic changes that are needed so that people don’t have to suffer with a disease that is leaving them crippled or unable to do what they had intended. This research is essential to learning the way that diseases start and form because this cell is the stem of all the cells that create your body. These cells could help the scientist determine how these diseases come about so that they could find out what needs to be changed for fixed.

           Now I don’t think that the people that are against the curing of the people with diseases that leave them in pain or even with a terminal disease. These people are opposed because of what is used. The embryonic stem cell is a fertilized egg that has to be killed within the first five days of creation, but this is a problem to many people because most religious groups feel this is a form of abortion. In their eyes they feel that it is a person in the development and they should treat it with dignity and as if it was a person. (EuroStemCell) Many people feel that it is unethical for them to use these cells and in the form that they have to use them. Depending on the time period in which they are used this could also affect the opposition, when a cell is used within the first 5 days it is not yet implanted into the uterine lining but therefore still considered a developing child, at 14 days the fetus is now developing its central nervous system, and after that if it is used it would literally be killing a baby. This is something that many people struggle with because of their opposition to abortions ethically. They support the movement of find cures to sicknesses but they think they should find other forms of cells that they could use. In one instance Yuval Devin, the Director of the Bioethics and American Democracy Program participated in an interview in which he spoke of the ethical difficultly of stem cell research. Within the interview they discussed a new finding that skin cells could also be similar to embryonic stem cells and how this could be more support than the use of embryos. This is a prime example that the people do not want scientist to stop trying to find the cure to life crippling diseases but they just would be more comfortable if they used other kinds of cells that did not require taking someone’s life. This argument requires the people of society and often this brings in the government on this stand point. For instance under the reign of Bush the funding for Stem Cell Research was limited because of his personal views on abortion. Bush was pro-life and did not agree with any form of abortion and this correlates with the way that people in the religious world feel about stem cell research. He said that they could receive some funding if:

1.      The derivation process (which begins with the destruction of the embryo) was initiated prior to 9:00 P.M. EDT on August 9, 2001.

2.      The stem cells must have been derived from an embryo that was created for reproductive purposes and was no longer needed.

3.      Informed consent must have been obtained for the donation of the embryo and that donation must not have involved financial inducements.” (Stem Cell Policy)

This made the research difficult to do because new stem cells are needed all of the time so that they could do more work and testing for a cure. The religious intolerance has a huge effect on the people who support the cause and I hope someday they could come to an agreement or find a way to still use stem cells without retaliation.

                    As always throughout the world there are people who are just unsure, I call these people the impartial people. According to research done by the Charlton Research Company, 73% of people support the movement, 27% don’t support the movement and out of that 27% of people that don’t 4% don’t support on reasons other than religious. From what I have realized though is that some people have never even heard of a stem cell. I could be the miseducation of the government as to why the people are not sure why they do not support. For those who do not pay close attention to the government, or are in a science profession it would have been difficult for the people to hear about stem cell research. When you are not paying attention to anything other than the media aspect of the news it is difficult to be informed. With more influence and projection of the affect this could have on people the 4% could be swayed either way. But these 4% do make a difference as to what will be researched and what will be halted.

            Personally I feel that this research should be continued, not only because I am interested in Science but I know people who have been affected and are being affected by these diseases. From this research could be the greatest findings in the world and some of the most influentially findings to the science world. With that research there should be precaution though. Stem cells are also the root in cloning. I do not agree with cloning for everyone in my eyes in meant to live the life they have lead and do not get to have do overs. Put into the right hands the people of the world could have something spectacular but put into the wrong hands it could be an atrocity.

            Hearing heart shaking word could change your life, but imagine they didn’t have to. There is technology in this world that could change the fear in your eyes into hope and relief. Stem Cell Research and support could be the reason why people make it through these types of diseases without having to go through a painful process. Scientists in the world love the idea of finding what could be the greatest finding on the earth, the religious want them to find another way and the educated just don’t know but together these people could make a difference. I hope one day that difference comes.

Work Cited

Natasha Lesson. “Hear it is: a possible cure for deafness?” Regenerative Medicine. Vol. 7 Issue 6 (2012). N pg. Web. 4 December 2012. 

Jonny Patience. Improved gene therapy technique restores the immune system of ‘bubble babies’”Regenerative Medicine. Vol. 7 Issue 6 (2012). N pg. Web. 4 December 2012. 

"Embryonic Stem Cell Research: An Ethical Dilemma." EuroStemCell. EuroStemCell, 23 Mar. 2011. Web. 04 Dec. 2012.

NIH Stem Cell Information Home Page. In Stem Cell Information. Bethesda, MD: National Institutes of Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2011. Web. 4 December 2012.

"The Case Against Embryonic Stem Cell Research: An Interview with Yuval Levin - Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life." The Case Against Embryonic Stem Cell Research: An Interview with Yuval Levin - Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life. Pew Research Center, 17 July 2008. Web. 04 Dec. 2012.

"Stem Cell Research." Stem Cell Research. The HealthCentralNetwork, Inc, 1 Apr. 2009. Web. 04 Dec. 2012

"Frequently Asked Questions." Human Embryonic Stem Cell Policy Under Former President Bush (Aug. 9, 2001–Mar. Xx, 2009) [Stem Cell Information]. National Institutes of Health, 10 Mar. 2009. Web. 04 Dec. 2012.

          

Stem Research Infographic

Stem Cell Research: Opposing Views

For those of you who do not know Stem Cells are what made us who we are today. They are the cells that become our bones, our organs, our blood, our nails, our skin, our nose, and every other part of your body but I think you get the point. These cells are found in your mothers unfertilized eggs, they are within the egg and once the sperm reaches from there they are sent the signal to begin making the part of the body that is need. So the first question I asked myself when I began to look up research is ‘’okay that’s interesting BUT how does that help us now?” well I came to find out that there are hundreds of ways these stem cells could help other people.

                These cells can be used to help people with cancer, and many more sicknesses that take over this world. But the problem is not many people support this movement although it has great potential. Many people feel that because they have to use a woman’s egg it is like killing a baby. But despite the slim support in the world stem cell research is still going on. So at this point I wanted to understand who opposed this? Why did they oppose it? Were they educated in the topic or science at all? How could the research be more supported? Should more people know about it? How would things change if more people knew?

                This topic is something that is talked about within politics but I don’t feel is talked about publically enough. I think that there are three different types of people in this situation. The scientist, the opposition and the uneducated make up these groups. But I also came to realize that some of these people are the same people and are a part of both groups. So what im trying to show you guys through my paper is that all this views collide and you know when there is a collision, there is always a big boom.

Some of my sources are:

http://www.futuremedicine.com/doi/pdf/10.2217/rme.12.100

http://go.galegroup.com/ps/i.do?id=GALE%7CA274307771&v=2.1&u=uscspart_lib&it=r&p=AONE&sw=w

http://go.galegroup.com/ps/i.do?id=GALE%7CA280053868&v=2.1&u=uscspart_lib&it=r&p=AONE&sw=w

http://proxy.uscupstate.edu:2555/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=13349a0b-82e5-462b-8ebd-f67f0f2ec63b%40sessionmgr114&vid=4&hid=107

Reflection !

Hello everyone.

I feel like I haven’t been here in a long time to talk to you about my writing experience but here I am!

When I started this assignment I was excited to talk about music, because I love music but once I got to the final stages of this paper I hated it. I just didnt want to look at the lyrics of this song anymore. I think I was more frustrated with the fact that I really didnt know what I wanted to discuss. Both sides of the story could be so strong. The song I wrote about was Pink’s Dear Mr. President. For those who don’t know the song it is an extremely liberal song in which Pink attacks former President Bush in the decisions that he made during his presidency. She directly asks him questions, even asking him to walk with her like they are just two people in the world and no one is better than the other.

What made this song difficult to write is if I should focus on the politics within her actual song or the politics within pop music directly and how this affects the media. I decided the later choice, discussing how pop music has always been influenced by the world and politics. Not only the music but the culture of pop music is dramatically affected by the politics of the war.

I think this is because everyone can relate to something that is going on in the world within politics. Not one country is perfect or has the perfect government so they always have problems where people can relate to them. The world is closely related to music because in most cases some type of art form is the way that people express their feelings.

Overall, I think that this assignment was worth doing but it was not necessarily the most fun I have had doing a topic.  

Pop Culture Analysis Rough Draft !

Briana Lanza Kyle

Mrs. Thomas

Composition 1

October 2012

Dear Mr. President:

Pinks Letter to the President

Throughout people’s lives the combination of sounds and words have come together to tell the story in which the artist would like to recite. As time progressed music never became any less important than anything else people still listened to music all the time but the sound of the music began to change and is now becoming more political in which they now not only speak about the happy times of their life but also the parts of their life that they don’t like and things that are happening government wise in which they do not like. Earlier in the years the music was more subliminal as to what they had to say about controversial things throughout the songs but over time some artist became more liberal although fame would not always be as quick for some One of the many songs that went against the grain of being politically correct is both written and sung by Pink. That political enemy is Dear Mr. President is discussing the many decisions President Bush had made during his terms as president, asking him to take a walk with her so that she could ask him how he feels about his actions and decisions as a President. She was questioning the sincerity of his heart with words like “how do you sleep while the rest of us cry? How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye? How do you walk with your head held high?” Through this song Pink attacked the President’s actions but this is not the only time that someone in the media attacks someone of a higher power.

 Pink grew up in a home with divided views, her father was a republican and she was a democrat, and a very liberal one at that. Through music people often express their feelings but in many cases when politics become involved, that is a big mistake, you don’t talk about the president especially while we was in power. So with this being the case Pink’s song was the talk around the world because of her bold out statement. So knowing that her music may not get played on the radio, Pink made sure that if people felt the same way she did and had the same questions she wanted to ask. would if they could talk to the former President. She made sure that people could see the anguish she had felt for the two terms in which he had served. But her song also helped people express and for some open up their eyes to what was going on in the world.

Through the words “Dear Mr. President, come take a walk with me. Let’s pretend we’re just two people and you’re not better than me. I’d like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly.” This for appealed to the people of the entire country whether you heard the entire song or not everyone has a question for the president. You could tell through this song that she directed it to president Bush because she made it during his term and through the video they had recorded he was in it. There is not official videos of it because of the controversy that it could have caused there are only videos of her singing it live with the photos which played behind her. The Radio did not allow this to play because of the direct attack at the current president, neither did this song get played that often on tv also because of the fact that it was of our current president. This song was not only a problem for the media but also the outside world. In the article No Pink at Talent Show by Matthew Rothschild he discusses that Molly Shoul wanted to sing pink’s song at the talent show but when the teacher in charge of the show heard it he said she had to have the song approved by the principal because of the language used and the topic being very political. When she asked the principal for the approval she said she could not sing the song because “the song was too political and would be inappropriate because of the word hell in it, along with whiskey and cocaine and gay.” After hearing this her mother wrote an email to the principal claiming that it was unfair and that they should not shield the children of today with what’s going on in the world  and violating her rights as a citizen of the US. The girl had been practicing for weeks after she had heard the song and when was told she could not preform it but could perform another song said she did not want to because she really liked the song. This song appealed to the little girls ethics and feelings, she felt as if she agreed and wanted everyone else hear what she believed in. This was important because often children know of what’s going on but do not really understand so with music like this it helps the children want to be more intact with the world.

The little girl in the school was not the only person to believe in expressing her feelings and not care what people have to say about it. Pink was an liberal person before this song and truly believes in her political beliefs. She does not mind that some people do not want to play her music because she knows that she has put her point out there. she had only sung the song publically at her concerts and a few times on television like when she performed on the Jimmy Kimmel show. After her performance she thanked him for allowing her to perform and discuss her song (Walls, Today). So it is obviously that it is not very often in the United States that people hear a lot of political music. So if politics is not discussed through song they also   for instance in Arizona with the immigration law that just passed. According to the article, The Border will Always be Porous written by they discuss how everyday people protest outside of court house for a law that makes them literally carry around their citizenship paper stating they are citizen or not illegal aliens to the country just because they do not look like they are from here. But there is not much they could do to prevent the movement of the aliens in and out of the country (Chideya). Although it is not discussed a lot it still makes a statement on the culture of society and what is seen by the people of the country and world.

Even though politics is not a common subject of songs for the world, Music artist of the present world come together to sing at an event called Live Earth. Organized by the former Vice President Al Gore and Live 8 producer Kevin Wall it is called a “pop extravaganza” where people “use the global reach of music” to “engage more than two billion people” in “a call to action to combat the climate crisis.” (Panton, 4) People come together to discuss the climate at this event but using music as the fuel for the people to hear what is going on in the world.

Although this music sang may not be mainstream it is still considered pop music because pop is a sound, a genre and not only a culture. Pink’s song is one the few that actually speak about politics but it’s not the only. She attacked a president but she is not the only artist that as ever done this. Politics is more intertwined with pop than people may think but the world is connected in every way.

Work Cited

1.      Rotschild, Matthew. "No pink at talent show." The Progressive July 2006: 18+. Academic OneFile. Web. 22 Oct. 2012.

In his article, Rotschild discusses how pop culture and politics could overlap each other within society. A child had wanted to perform the artist Pink’s song Dear Mr. President at her talent show. The principal claimed the song to not be public school surrounding because of its use of the words in the songs. This source is reliable source cause its author is well known is writes for a magazine in which only has the types of progressive stories within them like Pink’s song would be. I would use this source in my example of how this song itself affected the world and the way people thought. This is a direct example of how Pink’s song started controversy.

2.         Panton, James. "Pop goes Politics." The World Today. N.p.: Royal Institute of Internal Affairs, 2007. 4-6. Print

In this article, Panton describe how through different sources politics is used and affects more than just the people in the country but also the people in the world. Showing how politics is discussed in more than just the oval office but also in the actions and words of people of the world. This source is reliable because it comes from a well-known author and publication. This book has been in product for a long time discussing things going on in the United States politically. The way I would like to use this source is by showing how politics and pop culture are really intertwined. They also give insight to other things such as the whole culture of pop and not just its music.

3.           Chideya, Farai. "Pop and Politics." Pop and Politics. N.p., n.d. Web. 22 Oct. 2012.

On this website, they discuss different ways that pop culture and pop music affects politics. This website consists of many different kinds of pop culture events that relevance to people in politics. This source is reliable because there is not a necessary bias outlook on things because people can summit articles that they want. All of the posts have to be approved and proven also. I plan on using this by reading the articles and seeing how politics is intertwined with pop music.

4.         Walls, Jeanette. "Are Pink's Anti-Bush Views Being Censored?" Today.msnbc.msn.com. Today, 13 Apr. 2007. Web. 26 Oct. 2012.

This article is about what pink has to say about them wanting to censor her music and the fact that she only got to play on the Jimmy Kimmel show. This website is important and liable because it is from the news and a reflection of a conversation in which they had with pink making it a valuable source. Also it is not including bias and only using facts and things they heard first hand. I plan on using this by adding in that she only got to discuss her song on the Jimmy Kimmel show more than any other show. 

5.         Chideya, Farai. "Pop and Politics." Pop and Politics. Farai Chideya, 27 Oct. 2010. Web. 26 Oct. 2012.

This article has a video within the blog post that discusses the immigration laws in Arizona and how the government there feels about it. This website is a reliable source because she has a direct interview with the person and not just her own opinion where he gets to speak for himself and not have a bias. I plan on using this source as another form of using pop as a culture to discuss the world. Also by showing that pop and politics are still intertwined.

Summary and Analysis: Sway ' Chapter 4

According to Rom and Ori Brafman people are influenced by a power inside of them that no one understands this power causes people to act irrationally. This power that they talk about is called sway. When I first heard the word sway, I thought of when you sway someone towards believing something or doing something. When reading the book Sway by the brothers Rom and Ori Brafman I realize that sometimes people are swayed by more than just another person but in alternate ways, using observation and impatience to sometimes react and assume different outcomes. One of the many different forms of sway is diagnosis bias. This type of sway is one of the most common types because of the natural human nature to judge someone before you actually know them. This happens more when you hear or read something about someone rather than seeing the person physically. When Rom and Ori wrote this chapter you could tell that they made sure that the used valid enough examples and language that would help heighten your belief in the sway of diagnosis bias or even sway at all.

                The brothers wrote about the NBA Draft and how players were chosen and how some players are over looked because of their draft pick. This is the first story that caught my interest because I would think that once someone makes it to the major leagues I would have more to do with what they are doing now. One of the main players he spoke about was Michael Jordan and the Blazers decision not to choose him in the draft. The Blazers had one of the top choices and over looked because of his standings. They did not know he would be one of the greatest by what was on paper, they had assumed wrong. Now they know that they would have made a great choice if they chose him but this shows diagnosis bias because they diagnosed that he wouldn’t have been as good he was because he did not have everyone thinking that he will be that great. They were bias because they assumed that only people who were high draft picks would be a lot better than the ones that are lower when necessarily that’s not true. In basketball you could work the hardest in the league but if you were not a top draft pick people may not see that because they only tend to look at people who have higher draft picks.

                An additional story that the brother intertwined into the draft story is a segment about when a substitute teacher comes in. For the example the class was given description papers but the kicker was not everyone had the same paper. Some students had a paper saying that he would be nice and warm and friendly, while the others got a paper saying he would be cold and mean. When they were asked to evaluate his personality, the people who got the paper what said he would be nice said he was nice and the people who got the paper said he was cold. Once I had read this I realized that I have done that before. I have read that a person acts a particular way but when I meet the person I already had an idea of what I thought the person would be like and it blocked my judgment on the person’s actual personality. I judged them on what I had read or heard and not just getting to know them. When you do this you pass judgment on someone you already knew and probably should have just waited to meet. For instance, in college when you look up a teacher on ratemyprofessor.com you find that some people have nice things to say and some people have mean things to say. So before you even get to class you have already started to judge the way the teacher will be before you are able to formulate your own opinion.

                Through Rom and Ori’s writing you could see that when they wrote this chapter they wanted the people to have examples and people that they could relate to. They used language and sentences that helped the reader want to read the chapter more in depth. Their sentence structure also helped with their writing because without the short precise sentences that they used it could have been a chapter that was difficult to keep up with. In this case the chapter was not something difficult to understand although some of the stories were intertwined and that made the chapter easy to remember because they showed how they were alike although they were different situations. I feel that this chapter was the best written chapter because of its fluency. Something that made the reading easier also was that you basically could relate to every situation in this chapter. They did a good job playing on what people know and who they know in the way that it made the stories feel so much more real and you became more interested in know what kind of sway they were going to talk about now.

My Video Narrative :)

Reflection of Narriative.

              Writing this narrative was not easy for me, I am expressive in only so many ways and paper is not the best place. I could sit and talk to you about what’s going on in my life through conversation so much easier than words. I don’t know why I have trouble creating a conversation through written words but I think that is something I need to work on.

                Before even writing this essay I didn’t know if I wanted to write about the topic that I did, I didn’t know if I wanted to write about that subject because to be honest I didn’t know where I wanted to go with it. My topic didn’t really start off with me moving; it started off more as me losing my friends in general. I didn’t know if I wanted to do that subject because I knew that I still felt sensitive about the situation, but I knew that I need something that did affect me and that was one. When you write from your heart things tend to come out better than when you don’t so that’s what I tried to do.

                While writing the essay I didn’t know how to put my words together to not make the story too sad, I mean it is a sad story. Writing this made me think about how I did struggle before coming to Upstate. I was really alone at that time, and then being sick only made it worse.

                I would like to learn how to write well and be able to connect with the audience at the same time. I feel like writing that way makes your writing worth reading! I want to be worth reading, so I am going to work on sentence structure and the way I put things together. As my mom always says “it’s only the beginning, and a lot is going to happen before the end.”

Final Draft ; Read Away Guys !

Briana Lanza Kyle

Tasha Thomas

English 101 – Section 018

14 September 2012

                                                       Do I Really Need Them?

                Do you remember making friends in the first grade? That was one of the best parts about being young, having friends, running around in the park, living the care free life I know we all wish that we could bring back if that was possible. The one thing I always remembered wanting to stay with my friends, crying to my mom, pulling on her pants leg “mommy do I have to leave?” That may be why I’m not to fond of good byes, I like to say I’ll see you later cause I don’t like the idea that good bye could turn into talk to you never. Leaving people that I enjoy being around has always been a struggle for me. So moving inevitably was going to be a strenuous task. This wasn’t like when I was going into 3^rd grade when my mom told me I would make new friends and I did what mommy said because she was the boss and knew everything. I was 17 years 10 months and 28 days old when I moved this time I was no longer nine years old anymore. This was going to affect me.  I felt like moving never changed.   I packed and spent my weekends in the house packing, and throwing away, then packing some more and throwing more away to be surrounded in a small apartment by 178 items, ranging from boxes to lamps. We had it all in that place, that was my home I was cleaning out but I didn’t think it would be my life being cleaned out. All of my friends didn’t understand that my parents were moving to be closer to me so that I could have a home closer to where I went to college.  I knew that me and some of my friends would lose contact I had heard it from all my friends already in college but I didn’t expect to lose them ALL. But losing my friends didn’t start after I left for college it started before.

I didn’t slowly just lose my friends they disappeared. It went from being the crew, Janelle, Domonique, Jessica and I, to being Briana all alone. Yes I sound lonely and I was lonely. I was moving to a new place with people I had never met, a culture I was not used to. I was going from New York rudeness to Southern hospitality. Now I knew it wouldn’t be easy but I had always counted on having friends there to help me through keep me company in my new empty house for now.  But I realized that I didn’t even have people wanting to keep me company now. Of course I had my now ex-boyfriend there but at the end of the day I didn’t only want to leave with hanging out with one person.  I thought it  was pretty messed up that my “friends” hadn’t even tried to keep in touch with me. They were supposed to be my friends and we had all talked about keeping in touch but summer came and the time began to wind down until I left and I still got no phone calls, no texting. Nothing. I began to think “Was it my fault that not one of my friends wrote me? Or was I at fault because I didn’t really make the effort either?”  Maybe its mutual thing, I knew that conversations went two ways but I let my pride hold me back too much. I wouldn’t allow myself to beg for people to talk to me. I had lost friends before, it wasn’t the idea of not having the friends that bothered me the most, and it was the idea that I was going to be alone. It was like walking into a dark room, I didn’t know where things were or what stood before me, and being in the dark is a lot easier when you have someone to hold your hand. Now I am a friendly person so finding friends shouldn’t have been the problem it was the idea that something to stable was no longer there anymore.  I felt like I was going through that first break up, my heart was crushed but the people that I would have ran to in that situation was not there for me. So I cried and I thought about all the good times that I had with my friends, the trips to the movie and never actually watching them, or going to the city for someone’s birthday, walking to parties around the corner from someone’s house. I had a million moment travelling through my head and no matter how aggravated I was in that moment I wasn’t anymore. No matter how much I hated that they never knew what to watch or that we never could go the whole night without someone arguing with someone else, I strangely missed the things I once hated.  So I spent the month before coming to Upstate, feeling more alone then I had ever felt and to make it even better I ended up with Mono.

                After getting sick with Mono, spending about 2 weeks sitting in bed I figured out that I didn’t really need people who didn’t need me. I was going to meet and greet with a plethora of people at school. I learned my lesson. People will come and go but there will always be more people. So I started to find friends from Upstate through twitter, I befriended my roommate and many more people. Only a few people have written me since I have gotten here, my best friend Janelle and my friend Kristina but other than that I had nothing to show that people missed me.             

I don’t think my friends noticed that I am gone for a very long time. I have no family left in New York so I won’t really have a reason to go back. It’s not like I just went away to college like most of them did, I moved away for college. So maybe my friends saw it as me just going to school in another place and I would be back home, but now my home is in South Carolina. New York is not where I was going back to and that is just how it is now. I eventually ended up realizing that life goes on, people cross your path for a reason, to give you memories you could never forget. I will never forget the friends I hung out with in high school because ultimately I did need them, I just didn’t need them for the purpose I thought I need them for.

                                                                               

 

Literature Memoir

Briana Lanza

Tasha Thomas

September 2012

                                                                Do I Really Need Them?

                Do you remember making friends in the first grade? If you ever moved to you remember having to make all new friends, did you keep in touch with those friends? I feel like moving never changes. One thing that always stays the same about packing its time consuming and always rushed. So no matter how premeditated the move is you always lose a friend, in most cases when your younger its because of miscontact and you forget about them. But I was 17 years 10 months and 28 days old when I moved. So whos fault is it now that me and my friends all lost contact, it took me just about until I came here to get over it.

                This didn’t start right after I moved it started literally right after graduation, I went out to dinner with them all that night and have not seen one since. Now I thought this was pretty messed up because after all they were supposed to be my friends and we had all talked about keeping in touch but summer came and the time began to wind down until I left and I still got no phone calls, no texting. Nothing. I wasn’t one of those girls that was close with a million people I was friendly with most, but I only had a couple “true” friends, I could count them on my hand. So maybe cause I had a small group of friends it was my fault I should have been more friendly, I remember telling myself this my last week in new York. Was it my fault that not one of my friends wrote me? Or was I at fault because I didn’t really make the effort either? So maybe its mutual thing, I knew that conversations went two ways but I let my pride hold me back too much. I wouldn’t allow myself to beg for people to talk to me, this had happen to me before I had lost friends but to lose them all to go to a place you don’t know is really scary and I didn’t know what to do. So I cried and I thought about all the good times that I had with my friend. I felt like I was going through that first break up, my heart was crushed but the people that I would have ran to in that situation was not there for me. I literally felt alone in that month, within the month before school and moving here I got sick and had myself stressed to no end.

                After getting sick I just gave up, I didn’t care that my friends were gone because after the week of sitting in bed I figured out that I didn’t really need people who didn’t need me. I was going to meet and greet with a plethora of people at school. I learned my lesson. People will come and go but there will always be more people. So I started to find friends from upstate through twitter, I befriended my roommate and many more people. A couple of my old friends eventually wrote me saying that they missed me but it just made me think how much could you possibly miss someone if you didn’t even put in the effort to see them when they are leaving for ever.

                I don’t think my friends noticed that I am gone for a very long time. I have no family left in new York so I won’t really have a reason to go back. Its not like I just went away to college, I moved away for college. So maybe my friends saw it as me just going to school in another place and I would be back home, but now im home in south Carolina. New York is not where I was going back to. But maybe I didn’t need them after all, maybe I will be okay without them. I mean I already have new friends back but starting over isn’t that much fun, so every once in a while I wish I still kept in contact with the people that knew me better than anyone else. But yet again I don’t need them.

                                                                               

Personal Memoir.

So it’s been a couple days since I’ve had this class, but I do remember that I had to write down something that affected me significantly, maybe even taught me something I decided to write about moving. The day it all started was the day after prom. Now although my prom only happened a less than 3 months ago today, so much has changed for me since that day. Prom was the day I found my real friends were; let’s just say I don’t have many anymore in New York. Everyone in my school knew that I was going to school down south and everyone claimed to keep in touch and hang out before I left but that definitely didn’t happen! I know they say college is where you find your “real” friends but it would have been nice to keep these friends forever since I had spent years with them in school, so of them since nursery school. But people I had known for weeks alone were willing to hang out with me at the drop of a dime, but the “friends” I had didn’t ask not once. Everyone knew that I was moving soon, they knew the exact date and everything. So I spent half my summer sad and alone because all the friends I thought I had left all of our memories in the dust. The one thing I figured out though was that I really can’t depend on others to be there for me. I have to be able to be strong all by myself. Although I knew I would make new friends I spent my summer preparing myself to be independent and ready to face the world.

Now although I wrote about this in class I don’t know if I want it to be my subject, I just thought I would share my brain process, I hope someone can help me figure out what I want to write about. I am completely lost I will not lie, and I’m not ashamed to ask for help.

Literary Narative Reflection.

While reading “Literacy Behind Bars” by Malcolm I was truly inspired.  He was such a significant person in history not only because of the fight he put up for equal rights. He became significant when people realized that he had conquered his demons and pushed forward, not matter the difficulty. So the idea that he would not have been able to create the imagery and fluency of what he was writing if he had not learned how to read in jail that is mind boggling to me. Malcolm was not always my favorite historical advocate, civil rights hasn’t been my favorite part of history in a long time but reading this made me want to look more into that era history, his writing made me want to put down the books about the holocaust and their struggles and read about the struggles that happened in my own country.  I think without people like Malcolm X and others who stood up for equal rights that the world we live in would not be the same. But I also think that without a well-developed vocabulary these people would not have gotten to where they are. So the fact that people could go through jail or even just a life changing experience and it makes them want to better themselves is inspiring.

Malcolm X created an inspiring situation through his words, he gave you hope. He give you the hope that you could overcome oppression, whether it is from someone else or because your pride won’t let you admit that you are not where you need to be. Malcolm X knew that his audience would be open minds like ours, or closed minds he would have to convince otherwise. Either way his writing was assembled in a way that everyone could relate to his struggle in some way or another. I admire his inspirational writing and wish one day that I could write with the same passion and inspire someone the same way.

Introducing Myself.

Hello Im Briana. I am attending USC Upstate this fall of 2012 because I honestly couldnt have found a more comfortable and family-like school to enroll myself in. No this school was not my first choice but in situations like college the final choice is the most important one. So I am here at Upstate to be a Physical Therapist, or at least work my way to that goal. Now although that was why im here what got me here is different, my mom got me here. Obviously she gave birth to me but she is truly my motivation. I am in college because when I was younger I was given no choice, I hated that at the time but now I wish I would have listened better. My path here was not the bumpiest, I had a pretty smooth ride, but I dont expect my rode through here to be smooth. I have gone from living in New York to moving to South Carolina only a couple weeks ago. My whole family has come with me, through this path I am never alone. Without my family, life would be so much harder to cope with I care about family so much. It is one of my few " aching cares" in life, my other would be music. Music is something I have always cared about, when times get hard or when im the happiest I could have ever been I feel like music says what I cant, expresses feelings I can't put into words, it makes my life feel like its really happening. So with my family and music to help me through my hard times, I know I can make it through it all. I want to be able to say one day that I made it through college, im satisfied with life and I am living the greatest I can. I know not everything is going to be easy but I want one day to wake up and say I did this, I made it all come true, and I did it because I had the determination to do it. Of course one day my wants may change, my aspirations may get bigger, I may want more then I have now but right now I only want to make it, I only want to survive and not regret a thing I do.