Revised Essay

All the changes made to this paper were done so I could change the repipition and the clarity of the paper. This was one of my favorite papers to have written. I tried my best to fix the paper to the best of my ability. There are no significant changes made to the paper but most of the changes are small.

 

Briana Lanza Kyle

Ms. Thomas

Composition 102

3 May 2013

Moving South Africa through Words

Over the years, throughout history there have been many fights for equality and many of those required sacrifices. All of them made for equality, but not many people can say they spent 27 years in jail to fight for the rights and persecution of the people in their country. Nelson Mandela did that, and although it was not 27 years continuously it was the punishment that he endured for putting up a fight against the South African government, that he eventually came to win. Before Nelson Mandela became president most of the government was run by a European country who had settled in their land although they were the minority group of the country. South Africa went through a period of history called the apartheid which resembles the United States civil rights history with the use of the Jim Crow Laws before the Civil Rights Movement. They key difference that came from the fight in South Africa was that not only did the laws need the change, the government was in need of reform. After Nelson Mandela got out of jail for a couple years he continued to fight for the justice of the people and soon came to enforce his fight on his inaugural day.  With this new governmental standing Nelson Mandela wanted to convey the point that his country was able to be strong.  On the day of his inaugural speech, Nelson Mandela got his chance to say what he had to say without persecution. Through the careful use of language Nelson Mandela empowered an entire country. With Nelson’s word choice, tone, and repetition he reminded the people of the importance of living life as they had always wished.

                “Each time one of us touches the soil of this land, we feel a sense of personal renewal. The national mood changes as the seasons change. “ Nelson Mandela spoke those words in his inaugural speech in front of thousands of South Africans who stood in the capital to listen him speak. His choice of words in this statement was important because the country had been under so much scrutiny and heartache with the fight for equality. This statement also connects to him personally because he was in jail so many times and each time with a sense of renewal he tried to make a difference. This created a sense of pathos and ethos within his speech. Everyone knew that he could understand what they had gone through because not only did he go through this but he also spent time in jail, his family was also living the same way as the people. Although everyone was not a prisoner in a jail they were prisoners to the racism and injustice that they were facing within their country.  “We, the people of South Africa, feel fulfilled that humanity has taken us back into its bosom, that we, who were outlaws not so long ago, have today been given the rare privilege to be host to the nations of the world on our own soil.“ Nelson Mandela wanted to make sure that the people of South Africa knew that they are a part of the world, not just somewhere people did not pay attention to but were taken into the arms of those in the nations present. With the apartheid occurring and the people fighting back South Africa was on the news and the world was beginning to know the country that Nelson Mandela loved and fought for. This statement helped appeal to South Africa’s logos because they knew they wanted to be a country noticed and helped. With this recognition by the world this could help the South Africans to move forward and develop themselves with the world at their hands and not only at their feet.  With the choice of words of words that was used he made sure that the people felt pride within their country. Nelson Mandela wanted to make sure that people understood that the country could no longer stand under the feet of foreigners at rule, but under the feet of those who born and raised there because those people are the ones that deserve to control the country for they are the ones that truly know what they need.

                One of the most powerful forms of rhetoric is the use of repetition; this adds the emotion that is needed behind the meaning of your statement. Nelson Mandela stated, “Never, never and never again shall it be that this beautiful land . . . “. The repetition in the beginning of this sentence was used to stress the fact that Nelson Mandela was not going to allow the people to go back to their old ways. This helps build logos and pathos within his speech because he appeals to the people’s emotions knowing that they don’t want to go back that direction, and their logic knowing that this is supposed to be steps forward not backward. “Let there be justice for all. Let there be peace for all. Let there be work, bread, water and salt for all. Let each know that for each the body, the mind and the soul have been freed to fulfill themselves.”  This repetition of the first few words of this segment of the speech made me think of the bible. Nelson Mandela had the intention of letting people know that the change that was coming was going to be good like when God created earth. His intention was to create things in a way that they seemed as if they would be okay with the changes made. This appeals to peoples pathos and logos, their emotions were attached because they love their country but also their ethics because its similarity to the bible. Both of these repetitious moments made the country more intrigued and changed the way that the speech was being given and portrayed as a whole. This is important in writing because repetition makes the reader or listeners remember what the person said. This changes the power that the speech has when repetition is used. Like the speeches that many famous people have made, like Martin Luther King his repetition is something that is always remembered and understood by the people around them.

                Tone is one of the most important aspects of a speech. Tone cannot be expressed through the words but ultimately the delivery. When Nelson Mandela gave this speech he had a strong sense of confidence and devotion to his country which was portrayed through his words. Nelson Mandela made sure that his speech was given in a way that the people had no other way then to believe him. He did not yell at the people, he talked to the people as if he could understand what they are going through completely. When someone conveys a speech in a way that people feel like they are on the same level as them the speech is more relatable. The tone of your voice helps build a sense of understanding when the speaker tries to convey their point creating ethos. The credibility is creating the ability to have people to believe and think that you know that you know what you are talking about. This is important because without the correct tone and ethos your speech will not be able to make the point that you may have wanted to make. Nelson Mandela made sure that he had the correct tone and ethos to make the people believe what he had to say, and motivate the country. As Nelson Mandela spoke he made sure that the strength of the country he fought for was there. If someone conveyed a speech with no emotion, no pauses, and with the wrong tone it would not be the same speech. Tone is a crucial element of giving a speech because these are one of the things that draw on to a listener.  If the tone of the speech was not a strong demanding yet still loving and gentle then it would not have the same understanding and meaning as it had when it was spoken.

                When Nelson Mandela spoke these words he made sure he relayed his message correctly. This is very important to trying to make a message known. These rhetorical elements used in writing strengthen the understanding in which people get when they try to put across a subject. Nelson Mandela made sure that the people could understand his message through his performance. His tone, the repetition and his amazing word choice are the reason why the people remember this speech. For the people of South Africa this was their equality at hand, their fight for justice and Nelson Mandela wanted that to be heard by everyone across the nations. Nelson Mandela was both an amazing leader and an amazing writer who knew how to make a crowd intrigued.

Reflective Essay

Briana Lanza Kyle

Composition 102

Thomas – Final Essay

May 1, 2013

         

          College is supposed to be a place in which you grow and turn into the person you will be in the real world. A place where you reflect on what has happened to you in the past and how you can use other people’s lives as an example of how you should and shouldn’t be living as a student. I think it is important to understand the aspects of life and what might be the lessons that are interpreted in the way that you live your life. Many of the times we look past the little tiny steps to make sure that we get the big steps. In this English class I realized that all the little things I had to do before effect what was needed to be done later on.  All the work inside and outside of class helped me realize what I should do as a writer.

          In this class we did much different kind of papers all of them helping me grow differently. The first paper we did was the rhetorical analysis, on this paper I wrote about the speech that Nelson Mandela gave on the day of his inauguration. This helped me figure out what it was like to have to analysis someone’s writing and what emotion they are trying to convey. This paper taught me how to analyze someone’s writing or speech in a way that helps you understand what they are trying to say.

The second essay we did was article analysis; this paper was done on two different articles about the guilt of George Zimmerman. This helped me see both the side of analyzing the writing of another person and making sure I still build my own opinion from their opinion. This helped my writing because it both opened my eyes to outside opinion and making sure that I understand what someone else’s opinion may hold value when coming to an argument. When someone gives their opinion about a subject their opinion may hold some type of evidence but always to remember that their opinion is influence in the paper.

The third paper we did was an argument analysis; the subject of this paper was the influence of occupational therapy in schools. This paper helped me the most with the most aspects of writing. This paper required me to do research and analysis the research for each side of the subject. This is important because this is where you are getting valid facts and writing supported by facts with the integration of opinions. When reading these papers you have the experience to see people’s point of view with their influences of opinion and use of support for the facts. People’s opinions had a huge influence on my opinion but the facts affect it more.

 The final essay we had was our proposal essay. This was the hardest essay because we had to do what the researchers in the argument analysis paper did, using my own opinion to make the correct decision for the people. All of these papers helped become the writer that I am today which makes me confident in later writing that could happen in future classes that I could take.

          In this class we not only wrote papers but there was also very good interaction between the people in the class because of activities done in class. The first thing that I noticed was done in class is every day had an agenda, this helped me feel like the class was on a track but sometimes made me feel overwhelmed about everything that had to be done. Starting the class off with a quote or question helped me sometimes open my mind to other people’s opinions or what we’re discussing in class that day. Many of the people in the class I did not know but I am a friendly person so I am glad that I had the opportunity to meet them or get to know them better.

One of the many things we did in class was group discussions. This was one of my favorite things to do because it helped me see many of the peoples in the classes personalities and personal opinions that could be the same or different from mine. This was very similar to many of the p­­­apers we wrote because we always had to find the common ground and see the other person point at the same time. Another element of class was writing on the blackboard, this gave us the chance to say things or notice things we would not have before. Many of the times it was feedback from the book or readings that were assigned but this helped us see what captured other people’s minds. This is helpful once again tying into the papers that had to be written this semester.

 A significant part of my growth in the class was the peer response for all of the essays in the class. The first two reviews were done using the syllabus for the papers which helped you learn what is required for the paper in your own paper. This helps you see where some people may have strength that you could use as an example then on the other hand help people who have weaknesses where you have strength. Doing activities like this helps you use correct judgment as well, coming to the conclusion that you should pay attention to what and how you tell people the strengths and weaknesses of their paper without being offensive and remembering that you make mistakes also in your paper.

          Though I enjoyed the class the entire semester I had many favorite elements of the class. One of my favorite and most thought provoking activities that was done in this semester was doing the white boards, this really helped me see what people would say without having to put their name to the writing at all times. This helped us express ourselves more easily but also see what everyone else had in common with us. One of  my favorite actitives had to do with us using the iPad’s in groups. It helped us learn different programs and work as a team to get a good grade and learn from each other. the only thing I didn’t like about the class was having to go to the preface events, I was starting to forget the book it was supposed to be relevant to so it made it hard to write papers on them.

          In this English class I have grown, grown not only as a writer but as a person. This helped me not only see other people’s opinions but to take their opinion and my opinion and possibly create a whole new opinion and I think that’s an important part of life. People’s opinions are important to what is going on in your life. You may not always agree with what is around you but you might be able to change the opinions of some if you have the right back ground and information to support it.

Occupational Therapy in Schools

Self Assessment: Essay 4

SEGL W 102, Sections 003 & 013                                                 Instructor T. Thomas

Spring 2013

Self Assessment

Essay 4: Proposal

Post your narrative responses to the following questions to your BLOG.  Please write your responses in complete sentence/paragraph format.

1.       What were your biggest challenges in researching and writing your Proposal?

a.      My biggest challenge when researching and writing my proposal was making sure I had enough supporting information. This was difficult for me because am personally not a great researcher, I seem to find everything interesting and not know what is valuable and what isn’t.

2.      What do you feel is the best element of your final proposal?

a.      I feel that the best element of my proposal was the fact that I could relate to the statements I was making so there was an element of my own voice in the paper. It was not strictly fact but also was personal encounters and feeling in the writing making it easier to read and flow better.

3.      What do you feel is the weakest element of your final proposal?

a.      The weakest element I think would be the information, I don’t think I gave enough or could seem to find enough information in which I found valuable. This is a difficult element in all my writing, the paper has too much of my voice in it at times.

4.      What could you have done differently to improve your overall performance with both the Literature Review and the Proposal?

a.      I think I could have put more time into the paper, I did work very hard and put time but I don’t think I allotted the correct time because I underestimated the amount of work it could take to do the paper.

Rough Draft

Briana Lanza Kyle

Thomas

Composition 102

April 10, 2013

                As you get older, progress through school and make your way through life there are certain skills that you are supposed to have in order to survive. Many of these skills are taught to us by the people around us, they have a huge influence on what you know as a skill in life. Some people know how to farm because they obtained these skills from their parents who were farmers; some know how to knit because someone they knew taught them at a young age. These are skills you obtain outside of school, but what if the skills you obtain in school is not what is needed for you to survive, what if you needed more as an individual. I have always been an advocate for people to work hard to get somewhere but people also need help along the way. My brother was one of those kids who weren’t getting what he needed as an individual in school, he needed more. My brother, Peyton was born with fluid in his years causing him to have a learning disability which affects the way that the brain processes information, making it harder for him to learn what is necessary for him to get to the next grade. This was found after a couple trips to the doctor with a constant runny nose and tests they figured out that my brother’s ears were filled with fluid; with this discovery Peyton had surgery to release the fluid in his ears. Right before my brother started kindergarten, his pre k teacher noticed that he could have a learning disability because of the fluid in his ears, and how much he struggled in the class. Now although my brother had a great teacher who would have helped my brother as much as she could, she can’t do it alone. He needed outside of classroom help which he wasn’t getting from the beginning of his years in school, but maybe if he was getting help from the beginning then he would have had the chance to be caught up and not be behind his peers. My brother, Peyton is not 14 and in the 8^th grade, he is very smart and is caught up in classes like math, and science, but in English and social studies he still struggles but with the help of the amazing teachers he has had and the people outside of the classroom who help he is doing a lot better than he once was. Just imagine where he would have been without this help.

                The surrounding people that helped my brother are people who are willing to put the effort into helping others and making sure that people live full lives. One of these many people that surrounded my brother with love was his occupational therapist in school. Occupational therapy is an essential element to the learning of children with disabilities. The resources provided for them will help them learn to the best of their ability and further themselves if this was incorporated into schools. This will need to be a group effort needed for the benefit of the adolescent children today.

                Occupational therapy is a growing field in which people are trained to help people gain the skills to live a normal life and have life’s necessary skills. In the year 2010, about 137,000 occupational therapist were in the workforce and 21.7% of occupational therapist worked in schools, this is a growing statistic and that is a great movement towards helping people but the special education classes in the countries are also growing. It is important to show these potential occupational therapists to see the benefits of having a job in the school field. Many occupational therapist work with people who need to learn how to do every day skills like hold a tooth brush, or write with a pencil correctly.  These are everyday life skills that allow people to come to the fullest live of their life. in schools occupational therapist teach students how to do things that they will need in order to be successful in school which will in turn prepare the children for life after school. Most children that need occupational therapist have trouble with things like holding a pencil, holding silver ware so that they can eat alone, tying their shoes and interactions with other people. In occupational therapy you are taught these kinds of skills without the pressures of the world to tell you to do it a particular way. In occupational therapy they find whichever way is best for your learning and how you would benefit from your sessions. The point is not to take you out the classroom to get away from learning but to help you gain skills needed in a different way.

                The amount of children being diagnosed with learning disorders is more and more prevalent which causes classes in turn to become larger. So with the increase of the classes there should be an increase in people to help these children. Being that I am in college I do see a lot of people wanting to become teachers but I have only met a few who wanted to be an occupational therapist, most not know the increased need for this production and how this could help. For instance, if my brother would have never gotten the occupational therapy he did, he would have learned many of those skills needed but it would have taken him a very long time to learn how to do it because he did not have to proper tools in which to learn. My family tried our hardest to teach my brother the things that needed to be taught but did not have the training on what muscles needed to be stretched and moved in order to help him with the way he held his pencil. I fear that if my brother would not have gotten this help early that he would not be as successful as he is. Education is the back bone of this country; it is taken very seriously both in society and in our home because it is really the only way that you could reach the levels of success that you would like to reach. With that being said it is our countries job to make sure that every child has that chance to be that successful, given the resources and the information of the need their will be people who end up seeing the need and want of the children in the world. The most important thing is that these children get what they need together, not as two individual groups but as a classroom and not only an individual. Children like to know that their peers are similar them and have the same problems that they have so when these actions are being made they need to be made as a group effort and not an individual. All the teachers, parents and students with the help of the school have to have a clear understanding of what is going on a why it is needed for them to participate in the activities during the sessions. The teachers and the parents have to have a good communication especially at a young age because learning disabilities are things that can be picked up on over time because of the actions in which the child takes and how they act in classes. Early diagnostic tests are very important for the child because early detection is very important and should be taken very seriously so that the problem can be solved earlier in their life, the earlier the learning the better it could be for the parent to know what is going on with their child and what kind of help their child will need. This is why the parents and teachers should have a good relationship so that when there is detection of this it is not a struggle to find the middle ground between the parent and the teachers. Both  of the people possibly having different views on how their child should go through occupational therapy and when it is best for them to start. This is why it is also important for the occupational therapist to have a good relationship with the parental figure in this situation the child does need occupational therapy. The occupational therapy sessions are going to have to be things the child works on possibly outside of classes so with good communication that might be able to happen and help the child more with the enhancement of their learning.

                With anything there are many different sides as to how people see a particular problem many people not seeing this as something that is a huge need but do not see the benefits of having an occupational therapist.

Outline and Thesis

Thesis:

Occupational therapy is an essential element to the learning of children with disabilities. The resources provided for them will help them learn to the best of their ability and further themselves if this was incorporated into schools. This will need to be a group effort needed for the benefit of the adolescent children today.

Introduction:

• Peyton’s story
• What is occupational therapy?
• Opposition and troubles  
• Thesis

Body 1:

• Who does this help?
•  How will it help them?
• What does it do? OPT?
• How old are these children?
• When does this need to start?

Body 2:

• Who supports it?
• Why should it be supported?
• How much would it cost?
• Where is the support needed for the progression?

Conclusion:

• Why this is important?
• What would this help?
• Children of the future

Prospectus

The problem that I am going to disucss is the use of occupational therapy in schools and how it is beneficial to the students that are able to get these resources. This is important for their learning and goals for later on in life because this will make their lives easier.  Every child deserves the chance to make it in life and to the next level of school and with this extra help from occupational therapist that is how you can work with them.

                The audience that I would like to approach would be more professional because I would be directing my paper to people in higher positions in schools so that they could make the change, but the parents and teachers could be the bigger push. So I am talk to all of them the direct people who care but also those from a distance who cannot see the effects of learning that way.

                I would like to create rhetorical appeal by using language that would be natural and conversational but yet still give people the facts that are needed to support the cause. I would use stories and personal attachment to the problem while also adding to the appeal for the people. 

Literature Review - Rough Draft

Briana Lanza Kyle

T. Thomas

Composition II

22 March 2013

Helping the Students Who Need It

“I continue to believe that if children are given the necessary tools to succeed, they will succeed beyond their wildest dreams!" this came from the senator David Vitter. Education is like a pencil, an ironic statement I know but if you think about it pencils are the best example of how you grow over time throughout school. Each year of your education you are sharpened just a little so that you could be better in the next grade, the lead being your brain growing in sharpness. The tool that is used to help these children learn is the teachers, parents and administrators around them. But just like every pencil is not the same every child is not either so you may need more than one sharpener to achieve a useable point. For some children these extra devices that are needed are hard to be found in schools.

In many schools they have special education classes which isolate the children from the rest of their peers to be taught in a different way but does this really help the child develop good learning and personal skills as a student. Many of these children need to attend occupational therapy to help “sharpen” their intelligence so that they could be able to interact with the other students in their grades and even those older.  Throughout their lives they need to pursue and interact with others but with isolation this is a problem within schools. So the question is how to we prepare all of the people involved with education for life after high school? Not only do these impairments affect the disabled students it affects the students around them, the parents of these students, and the teachers in elementary schools.

Disabled Student and Their Peers

As a child school and meeting new people are the most essential elements of your life because in these moments you learn things about life that you did not once know, even if now it seems like mediocre things like learning how to spell your name or read and write these things affect you for the rest of your life. Although all of these things are important you will quickly realize the people you are around mean a lot to your learning. The people in your classes, the people you sit with at lunch can either make your experience at school a good or a bad one, but everyone deserves the chance to have the freedom to interact with their peers and enjoy school. In school you quickly learn that not everyone is the same as you, looks like you, talks like you or even learns the same way that you do and this is where we run into a problem. Many disabled students’ placed in special education classes are treated differently as they reach higher up in the schooling system. This causes a lot of destruction for making friendships outside the classroom.

Students with learning disabilities are often “pulled out” of class for the benefit of them but in the end ultimately results in an opposite affect (Will 411). This does not help the children’s learning and also affect the way that the children interact with others. On the other hand, the separate classroom idea creates the ability to build bonds with people who may have problems similar to them leaving them not to feel alone. Often children do not understand at a young age why there are some students who have to be taken out of class or only seen at lunch but as they get older it becomes harder to overcome the scrutiny of being a student in a special education class. Without this understanding it is hard for children to interact with each other. Many peers find it to be something that they know certain students have to do but do not understand why it has to be done or even that the student is not very different from them outside of the classroom. If this is done at an early age, in conjunction with testing for learning disabilities at a young age so help can be given then instead of later on when it may be more difficult for the student to learn what is needed for further life progression.

They try their best in school to try and be the most effective with both their learning and their teaching. They also need to focus on the interaction and cohesion as people but later in life connections and the people you know could get you somewhere and give you the opportunity to succeed.

Teachers

One of the people who have the most important and difficult job in this situation is the teacher that has to work with the child outside of when they are with occupational therapist.

Parents

Occupational Therapist

Working Thesis & Introduction

"I continue to believe that if children are given the necessary tools to succeed, they will succeed beyond their wildest dreams!" this came from the senator David Vitter. So just like the main tool used in school, your pencil will be used but first with the use of a device you can sharpen this pencil for the ability of use to keep on working. This is like children, when first arriving at schools most children know some of what they need to know but this is when they really begin to “sharpen” their intelligence. The tool that is used to help these children learn is the teachers, parents and administrators around them. But just like every pencil is not the same every child is not either so you may need more than one sharpener to achieve a useable point. For some children these extra devices that are needed are hard to be found in schools.

In many schools they have special education classes which isolate the children from the rest of their peers to be taught in a different way but does this really help the child develop good learning and personal skills as a student. Throughout their lives they need to pursue and interact with others but with isolation this is a problem within schools. So the question is how to we prepare all of the children in school for life after high school? 

Essay 3: Literature Review , Topic

The topic that I will be discussing is the influence of occupational therapist of children with learning disabilities and how it is essential for their learning and their transition to regular classes and then to the regular world. Occupational therapist help those develop skills that they will need in normal life in the world. Not only do they help those in wheelchairs with disabilities but people who are not in that situation yet still have motor and everyday life issues. These life skills could start with holding a pencil to learning how to tie your shoe and even hold a fork, all of these being important to both the people and society. Occupational therapist help people both develop then refine this skills so that they could be used in their life as if they had knew it forever. This type of transition is important in the world because often those with disabilities are beyond due to the help that they may not be receiving to obtain these skills. Not only does this affect them later on in life but it affects them now in school, knowing that school and the students are ruthless with teasing. Personally my brother had to deal with a lot of things in school due to the fact that he had a learning disability and struggled to be at the same motor levels as other children in his class. Occupational therapist within his school helped him transition to now being in normal classes and doing ju jitsu.

                Knowing that my brother had struggled so much and this helped him I was curious how many other kids are affected like this and how does it affect those that do not get this chance. Developmentally this is something that could help a lot of children with both learning disabilities and illnesses that affect their brain. In this issue there are 4 stake holders, the student, the school, the occupational therapist and the teacher. While doing research I found that there are hundreds of stories, most of them are of struggle which makes me question why. The children deserve a right to have a fair chance in life and the education system.

Rough Draft: Article Analysis

Briana Lanza Kyle

T. Thomas

English 102

21 February 2013

                                                Is it Guilt or Misconception?

           Sometimes in life we face the situation in which you need to defend yourself from someone you felt was a threat to you or the people who you care about the most. This is a subject that has been discussed by people in the United States since 1877. The discussion has come from the idea of what is okay to defend yourself, what determines whether that person really as dangerous as they seem, when does it become an area where it’s a police officer’s job to take of it and not your own. From these questions laws have been formed that could be used to justify the actions in which you use to defend yourself. One of the many laws used for the rights of your protection is the Stand Your Ground Law. This law allows you to protect yourself whenever you feel as if your life is at risk, no matter of your location of property. Normally laws are created where you are allowed to protect your home or property but this law does the complete opposite. This law has not deterred crime but has increased the crime within the states which have the law (Vedantam). One of the many states with this law is Florida, and this is where the entire up roar of the law seems to be coming from. In the past year, killings using the Stand your Ground Law as justification have tripled to an astonishing 35 “justified killings” since 2005 when the law was enacted (Miami). One of those many astonishing killings was of Trayvon Martin, a 17 year old male who was shot and killed by George Zimmerman in a private complex. Zimmerman used the Stand Your Ground law to justify his killing of Martin. The story roared throughout the country in support of Zimmerman and in opposition of Zimmerman. Many people were upset with the fact that Martin was killed and Zimmerman was allowed to go free because of his claim of self-defense. After a month, Zimmerman was arrested and is currently awaiting trial for his altercation with Martin then resulting in Martin’s death by shooting. Many opinions have arisen about this instance; two people who have expressed their feelings on the killings are Mark NeJame and Kyle Scott. They use their article to express their opposing opinions on if Zimmerman should be found guilty. Although they both are opposed to persecution they look at the situation differently and this is shown in their words.

            In Mark NeJame’s article, Trayvon Martin shooting wasn’t a case of racial profiling, NeJame discusses that he believes that Zimmerman’s case is one that has to do with once again someone taking too much power in their hands. In Zimmerman’s case after he was told not to follow him by the police. NeJame himself was a criminal defense attorney for more 30 years; he has handled many cases in this field and at first agreed with the uproar claiming that this was racial profiling, a truly ignorant killing but after time came to the realization that Zimmerman did not shoot Martin because of his race but because of the fact that he felt that he was in danger. This article does not have the support it could have needed to be truly persuasive to change someone’s mind who thought that Zimmerman was racially profiling Martin. NeJame mentions that Zimmerman used profiling of a person and not racial profiling to determine whether or not he thought that he was a danger to himself. The article could have been better if profiling was explained differently and his point seemed proven and not just left out to be considered. The fallacy that is used within this article is hasty generalization. In the article, he does not enough evidence to support his point of view. It would have been a more convincing article if he discussed the cases that should go towards misconduct rather than profiling. Although the argument in the article tries to prove a logical point it does not have the evidence I would need in order to really make an effect on the people reading it. This article was written last year a couple months preceding the killing and it could have been an opinion that was hard to prove at the time because of the unsure information they do have about the killing.

            In the Kyle Scott article, Why George Zimmerman should not be ‘crucified’ for killing Trayvon Martin, Scott states that he believes that due process should let the people decide whether he is guilty or not and not the public. Scott noticed that the people in the media helped determine that he should be taken in and is going to affect everyone’s feelings with the case. Scott knows that the people are allowed to have their own opinion but they should not be allowed to determine his innocence. His statement is not well supported though because he does not explain what exactly he thinks they should do but only says that they should not judge that way and allow the justice system figure out whether or not he is guilty. The fallacy used in this paper was the straw man fallacy, it seemed from the outside that he could have some type of structure but in reality the paper just kept repeating the same thing over and over and not using any new proof with their arguments. Without strong argument and justified writing this makes it difficult for the person to believe what they have to say and for others to try and make something believable. This takes time and justification within your writing which makes you sound valid enough to get a point across. Improvement of the article would have come from the use of facts and statistics referring to the influence that the people had on their opinion of their guilty. A flaw to this paper comes from the article being written so closely after the event and not having the time to gather statistics and information.

            When someone threatens your life you should have the right to defend yourself but at what expense does it become the police job to handle. When does it not become okay to defend yourself? When George Zimmerman shot Trayvon Martin he did it despite what the cops had told him. He had tried to take the place of the people who were supposed to protect us. I feel that if you have called the cops and still pursue knowing that you could be wrong and the person is not really a threat to you. George Zimmerman used profiling to say that Trayvon was a threat to the area but how much of a threat could he have been if it was only him walking at night time. No one deserve to feel unsafe on the streets, wondering if someone else finds them as a threat to society when they have done nothing to show that they were, you deserve to feel safe wherever you go without having to worry about being harmed in any kind of way. People’s safety is a huge problem having to be face while living in this country, I think it should be addressed and taken care of so people do not have to feel this threat while walking down the street.

           

           

           

Argument Analysis: Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman

Everyone remembers the outstanding outrage that was caused by the killing of Trayvon Martin. The only thing that people knew was that a black teenager with only a bag of skittles and can of arizona in his pocket got gunned down by a man who found him suspicious. This was a tragedy in itself to know a life so young got taken due to a misconception of suspicious. There is the clear opinion that people believe that George Zimmerman was a racist and killed Trayvon simply because he is black but not everyone has that opinion. 

In the article Trayvon Martin wasn’t a case of racial profiling by Mark NeJame, a previous criminal attorney of 30 years, he does not think that Trayvon Martin’s killing came from racial hatred but from the misconception that citizen have to take the law into their own hands. He believes that is what is wrong with this case. He thinks it should be more focused on the fact that George Zimmerman took matters into his own hands even when being asked not to do so. NeJame expresses in the article that he does not agree with racial profiling and that if he felt the case was about that he would have no obstructions to George Zimmerman going to jail with that name on his back. 

In the article Why George Zimmerman should not be 'crucified' for killing Trayvon Martin by Kyle Scott, a opinion writer for the Christian Science Monitor, states that he does not think that George Zimmerman should have be condemned guilty without knowing any of the evidence and having anything to backup what the people think happened. They believe that the law should determine whether he is guilty or not because no one really knows what happened that night and its hard for people from the outside to determine that. 

Rhetorical Analysis Reflection

1.       How would you tell the story of your thinking and writing process? Complete these sentences: “When I first began this assignment, I thought…..” and “AS I did some thinking, writing and research my ideas changed and I thought…”

When I first began this assignment I thought that it would be easy because I picked someone I admired and looked up to ever since I knew who he was. It was not as easy as I thought it would be because I needed to analyze the speech and not given my opinion on the speech. As I did some thinking, writing and research my ideas of the speech I had to change my reading for opinionated to analytical reading.

2.      How did you choose a text to analyze for this assignment?  What criteria did you use when selecting it?

           

I chose this reading because I had always loved this speech from the first time I had read it. Also knowing I had to analyze something I thought it would be interesting to use another president’s speech because our President just went through his inaugural address.

3.      What was the most difficult problem you faced while writing? How did you go about trying to solve it?

The most difficult problem I faced while writing was not adding in my opinion to the paper and using pure analysis instead. I tried to make sure that when I went back to revising my paper that I used analysis than opinion. Proof reading helped me the most while writing this paper.

4.      Whose advice did you seek while drafting, revising and editing? What advice did you take and what did you ignore? Why?

I tried to take all of the advice in because I knew that everyone who gave me feedback was not trying to worsen my paper but made it better. I fixed my wording in some parts and added more detail in unclear areas the best I could.

5.      What do you feel are the strongest points of this essay?  What are the weakest elements and how could you improve them?

The strongest point of my essay would have to be the clear examples that I have within my paper. My weakest points might be my wording and intertwining more background into the paper without seeming over whelming.

6.      What will you do differently on the next essay assignment?

Next essay assignment I will make sure that I use more analysis and use background so that I could create rhetoric for myself.  

Rough Draft

Briana Lanza Kyle

Ms. Thomas

Composition 102

27 January 2013

There have been many fights for equality; many sacrifices made for equality, but not many people can say they spent 27 years in jail to fight for the rights and persecution of the people in their country. Nelson Mandela did that, although it was not 27 years continuously it was the punishment that he received for putting up a good fight against the South African government, he won that fight though. Before Nelson Mandela became president most of the government was run by a European country who had settled in their land, then ultimately took over although they were the minority. They were going through a time called apartheid very similar to our civil rights fight in the United States but their struggle took more, it took a whole new government, a complete change in the way that people saw the country. But on one day Nelson Mandela got his chance to say what he had to say without persecution, this day was on the day of his inauguration. With Nelson’s word choice, tone, and repetition to remind the people of the importance it was for people to have to the lives that they wanted. This speech was what started South Africa to be the way it is today.

                “Each time one of us touches the soil of this land, we feel a sense of personal renewal. The national mood changes as the seasons change. “ Nelson Mandela spoke those words in his inaugural speech in front of thousands of South Africans who stood in the capital to listen him speak. His choice of words in this statement was important because the country had been under so much scrutiny and heartache with the fight for equality. This statement also connects to him personally because he was in jail so many times and each time with a sense of renewal he tried to make a difference. This created a sense of pathos and ethos within his speech. Everyone knew that he could relate to what he was saying because he was a prisoner himself. Although everyone was not a prisoner in a jail they were prisoners to the racism and injustice that they were facing within their country.  “We, the people of South Africa, feel fulfilled that humanity has taken us back into its bosom, that we, who were outlaws not so long ago, have today been given the rare privilege to be host to the nations of the world on our own soil.“ Nelson Mandela wanted to make sure that people knew that they are a part of the world, not just somewhere people did not pay attention to but were taken into the arms of those in the nation. South Africa was not somewhere that most people paid attention to if they were not from there are going there, but the fight was so substantial that even the world noticed the work that they had done. This statement helped appeal to the countries pathos because they knew they wanted to be a country noticed and helped. With this recognition they could help the people forward and develop themselves with the world at their hands and not only at their feet.  With the choice of words that he used he made sure that the people felt pride within their country. Nelson Mandela wanted to make sure that people understood that the country that they will in does not have to go through the struggles that it has been enduring. The country no longer stand under the feet of foreigners at rule, but under the feet of those who live and were born there because those people are the ones that deserve to control the country for they are the ones that truly know what they need.

                “Never, never and never again shall it be that this beautiful land will again experience the oppression of one by another and suffer the indignity of being the skunk of the world. “ The repetition in the beginning of this sentence was used to stress the fact that Nelson Mandela was not going to allow the people to go back to their old ways. This helps build logos and pathos within his speech because he appeals to the people’s emotions knowing that they don’t want to go back that direction, and their logic knowing that this is supposed to be steps forward not backward. “Let there be justice for all. Let there be peace for all. Let there be work, bread, water and salt for all. Let each know that for each the body, the mind and the soul have been freed to fulfill themselves.”  This repetition of the first few words of this segment of the speech made me think of the bible. Nelson Mandela had the intention of letting people know that the change that was coming was going to be good like when God created earth. His intention was to create things in a way that they seemed as if they would be okay with the changes made. This appeals to peoples pathos and logos, their emotions were attached because they love their country but also their ethics because its similarity to the bible. Both of these repetitious moments made the country more intrigued and changed the way that the speech was being given and portrayed as a whole. This is important in writing because repetition makes the reader or listeners remember what the person said. This changes the power that the speech has when repetition is used.

                Tone is one of the most important aspects of a speech. Tone cannot be expressed through the words but ultimately the delivery. When Nelson Mandela gave this speech he had a strong sense of confidence and devotion to his country through his words. Nelson Mandela made sure that his speech was given in a way that the people had no other way then to believe him. He did not yell at the people, he talked to the people as if he could understand what they are going through completely. When someone conveys a speech in a way that people feel like they are on the same level as them the speech is more relatable. The tone of your voice helps build a sense of understanding when the speaker tries to convey their point creating ethos. The credibility is creating the ability to have people to believe and think that you know that you know what you are talking about. This is important because without the correct tone and ethos your speech will not be able to make the point that you may have wanted to make. Nelson Mandela made sure that he had the correct tone and ethos to make the people believe what he had to say, and motivate the country.

                When Nelson Mandela spoke these words he made sure he relayed his message correctly. This is very important to trying to make a message known. These rhetorical elements used in writing strengthen the understand in which people get when they try to put across a subject. Nelson Mandela made sure that the people could understand his message through his performance. 

Working Thesis & Outline

Working Thesis:

                Nelson Mandela was used his words, credibility, and historical allusion to remind the people of the importance it was for people to have to the lives that they wanted. This speech was what started South Africa to be the way it is today.

Outline:

Introduction:

•           Who is Nelson Mandela?
•        The brief history behind story
•           Who the audience was?
•           Thesis
•           Closing statement

Body 1: Word Choice

•           What is word choice?
•          How is it used?
•          How does it affect the speech?

Body 2: Credibility

•          How does he show credibility?
•         How is he credible?
•         How does this affect the speech?

Body 3: Historical Allusion

•           What is historical allusion?
•          How is it used?
•          How does it affect the speech?

Conclusion:

•           How did the speech help him? 
•        How is the country now?
•           Restatement of thesis

Basic Questions for Rhetorical Analysis

Who is the author/speaker?

-          The author and speaker in this speech was Nelson Mandela. With this speech he was sworn in for President of South Africa just before giving this speech. He had the power to give this speech because he was democratically elected and fought for everything that the people wanted. He became president at the end of a time called the apartheid, this is when the whites of France were still in accompany of the country and treating the people of South Africa unfairly, similar to the peoples fight in America with the Civil Rights Movement. The speaker brings the biased of opposition of the apartheid. You could feel his opposition and wanted for the fortification of the country.

What is his/her intention?

-          His intention is to bring the people together with pride for their country. Knowing that the country has been through a lot he intends to bring the country together despite their differences.

What is the message?

-           The message of the speech is that although the country has been through a lot the people can still be strong and that is what he intends on letting them do. He wants to build a country stronger than the one they had before. The speaker uses the logos that it is their time to succeed. Feeding to peoples logical thinking that the world should be peaceful and not the way it was.

Who makes up the audience?

-          The people of the country who supported him and probably those who did not support him as an activist. He has spent over 20 years in jail so these people had been waiting for him to get out so that he could take reign on the people who supported him so much.

What is the form/structure in which it was conveyed?

-          The form in which it was given was in front of thousands of people, in front of the capital. He stood hand in hand with the other people of the government whether they be black or white. He gave the speech in a way that uplifted peoples pride and helped them see the outcome that could come of him being president.

What persuasive and rhetorical devices are used to accomplish the goals?

-          The speaker uses historical allusion, word choice and visual drawings. The historical allusions used in the speech are used by they refer to the passed triumphs of the country. Using the example of adopting the bill of rights, the citizenship rules created. Using these to boost his speech and inspire the people to see that some change has been made but more can be made. For word choice he used strong phrases like “we will all rise” , “we raise our country and its people from the morass and apartheid.

Does the message/speech/text succeed in fulfilling the author's or speaker's intentions?

-          I believe that it does because this speech was given at a time where South Africa had just made it through a lot of fighting and war. This was something they had been fighting for a long time, Nelson Mandela himself spent way to many years in jail for this cause and still stayed in the heart of the country and had his mind set on the goals he would have liked to reach.